At Trip's End

I'm home again.  It's nice to be home.  :)  The past two weeks have been really busy and challenging and sometimes fun.  I have lots of stories, but really, do you wanna know all of them?  No.

Anyway, today is July 4th.  It's raining.  I got on a plane at 6 AM today in Philadelphia on two hours of sleep.  I am not with my family.  It doesn't really feel like the 4th of  July, but I'm going to guess that it didn't "feel like the 4th of July" to the Declaration's signers either.  Probably this is because they were more worried about what they'd decided to do on July 2nd--the day they officially decided to split with England--or maybe it didn't really hit some of them until they started signing the Dec of Ind on August 2nd.  Who knows.

The 4th is always a strange holiday for me. I don't make a great patriot. I do not believe that nationalism is a particularly healthy idea, especially as a follower of a faith that I believe says God doesn't love some people more than others (even if I want God to), and I get sort of disturbed by people who find their faith and their love of country synonymous. Does God really choose sides in our political struggles? Does God love America more than England? How do we know when we’re on the ‘right’ side? At the same time I am so thankful to live in the US. I do value my liberties and rights, and I’m all for representative government!

I think that sometimes my hesitant patriotism comes from not being able to glorify death generally. You know, it’s hard when people die, whatever the cause. I know I’m strange, but really, when we talk about how men and women have sacrificed their lives for our country I have a hard time seeing the ‘good causes’ because I’m still stuck on death. Without getting too polarizing or political (hopefully) I think we make a lot of sacrifice so we don’t have to constantly face the devastation those sacrifices bring. It’s sort of an escape.

Anyway, most of you know I don’t love military men like most women do. Once again, I know I’m strange. I do think that men in uniform look GOOD. But really, when I see a uniform, I think of war and death. As a result, I really didn’t like seeing husband in ‘uniform’ last week. (Husband’s chorus did an Army medley of songs, and they had to wear outfits that looked sort of like uniforms.) It made me feel icky. I love my husband. I don’t want him to go to war and die. How do military wives do it?!

Besides the fact that their uniforms remind me that their job is to kill and be killed, I am not a big soldier fan because the majority of those I’ve encountered (especially those in their early 20s and 30s) are irritatingly full of themselves and/or exceedingly gleeful when discussing violent acts. (I do realize they’re not all bad. I did, after all, like my grandpa.) Today’s flight home included one such recently discharged Air Force seat neighbor. I know part of his offensive demeanor came from his fear of flying (yep) and the mental crash he was experiencing after having slammed 6+ energy drinks late last night. Still, ugh, all he talked about was how he was ready to physically damage our fellow passengers that he found irritating, how he would take on terrorists on our plane and kill them (with a pen in the neck for those wondering), and how many people he had harmed for kissing his (ex) girlfriend or making him angry. He also bragged about his vehicles and the hot girls who want him. Just to set the record straight, all of this information was unsolicited from me. Luckily, he appeared to like me, so he only pretended to put me in a head lock and beat me up twice during the flight. (I am not kidding. The man put his hands on me twice and pretended to punch me in the face despite discouragement. The flight was full.  I couldn't change seats.)

Sigh. I know we can’t all be peace-loving hippies and live in communes. I know violence is part of the human condition. You may all condemn me as a traitorous liberal bleeding heart, but I still really struggle with people who celebrate killing each other.

P.S.  I do not have a problem with celebrating my rights and liberties.  :)  Did you all read the Dec of Ind today to remind yourself of what this whole USA thing was all about back at the start?