So...there's an American mother who adopted a little boy from Russia and then sent him back. What!? Oh, and get this: right now they can't charge her with a crime. Child endangerment? Abandonment? Apparently not.
The family claimed the kid had behavior issues. Actually, that's not uncommon in Eastern Europe. Lots of kids in orphanages do have emotional and behavior issues. Not all of them, but quite a few. You might too if your life was that unstable. To be fair, it's also not uncommon for future parents to be lied to about prospective adoptees. But here's the difference: even when they were lied to about the mental health of the child they adopted, all the other adoptive parents I know TOOK CARE OF THEIR KID. They got them help if they couldn't take care of the kid themselves. If you fear for your life, here's my hint: take your child to a mental health professional. I bet your insurance covers that. I bet Medicaid covers that if you don't have personal health insurance. Get the kid help; don't jettison them.
Putting a kid on a plane and sending them half-way around the world is NOT OKAY! In my oh-so-humble opinion you cannot unadopt a kid. Just like when you have your own biological children, they're yours. Yours. Yours! Parenting is not like Walmart people! You can't return kids like you do a faulty coffeemaker you've been using for a few weeks. That's why deciding to be a parent isn't a decision to make lightly. You don't get to say, "Oh, never mind. I guess I just wasn't cut out for this." GAH! Some people make me so angry!
wow- so sad :( i love it how some people are so obsessed with having the picture perfect movie family that not only do they adopt someone (who by the way, will be "white" like them in this case), but will also send him back if he doesn't fit the bill. and even though i believe adoption is a really good thing in general, this particular incident really says alot about Americans. we want to save what is easy to save.
ReplyDeleteP.S. and totally urelated- i really like your blog wallpaper- so cute!
ReplyDeleteI like my wallpaper, too. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAs to the crazy mother, I'm not sure she's super-representative of Americans. I think she's a fluke as far as behavior goes. However, I do agree that generally people don't want to work to 'save' things. We're pretty self-centered and want easy, perfect lives, whatever that means. Many (not all, but many) people don't want to adopt kids with problems. I can understand that. We don't want our kids to be born with 'problems' either. Some of that is because we don't want to do the work. The majority is usually because we love our kids. I do wonder what happened with this particular woman, you know? Why would she pull such a serious 180? Can it really be the kids behavior, or did something else change that made her snap? Still, I really don't get how this family is okay with their actions. I'm still angry. Part of the reason I'm angry is because she's jeopardizing adoptions world-wide and giving a wonderful group of people (parents willing to adopt) a bad name. Not cool.
The hoopla in Russia about this is pretty crazy. If I'm not mistaken they have put a hold on all adoptions to Americans until diplomats get together and set some rules and standards. Thanks to the media my husband (a Russian patriot to the core) is convinced Americans don't care about Russian adopted children. The general opinion among Russians is adoptive parents would never treat an American child this way. I, on the other hand, think parents as crazy as that woman would likely treat any child this way. It had nothing to do with the boy being Russian (she actually lucked out that she could send him on a plane instead of a greyhound to the next state or something). I really hoped she gets charged with SOMETHING.
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