Just Like James Michener, I Love Chem Trails

Earlier this summer I toured the watershed from which my water is delivered to my house/tap/washing machine/dish washer/shower. It was basically the nerdiest fun thing I did all summer. I realize this is actually quite a feat, since all I do is nerdy things.

I got to take a tour bus all the way up to Cameron Pass - it was an all-day extravaganza of water education. Hooray!

All but 5 of us on the tour were senior citizens.

I am officially that person. 

When we arrived at the pass, I was pretty sure I couldn't believe I lived close to a place that was so beautiful. Perhaps it was just the lovely weather, but I was smitten with happiness and an appreciation for just how lovely it was.

We visited Michigan Ditch. If you didn't know, James Michener visited this place when he was doing research for his book, Centennial. And he was guided by a friend of mine from the archives, Dr. Everett Richardson. And also, I've never read a book by James Michener, but I sometimes pretend I care about such things. And also, I would like to know how this ditch got its name. Every time I come across it at work, I wonder about why it shares a name with a state. I know; my mind naturally goes to important, deep concerns.

My tour included some crazy hippies, water buffaloes (that means they really care about water and devote their life to its development and legal issues), fluoride conspiracy theorists, right-wing nut jobs, and left-wing nut jobs. The longer I was on the tour, the more sane I felt. I was a strange and pleasant feeling; it is not a particularly common personal experience. Half of the people wanted to know why nothing was being done to mitigate changes to the watershed environment caused by the High Park fire. (We're all going to die because something changed; we must seek shelter from the big, bad, deadly environment!) The other half was completely incensed that anything was being done to mitigate changes to the watershed environment caused by the High Park fire. (Human health doesn't matter; let nature take its course!) As you can well imagine, the city utilities employees were overjoyed to explain repeatedly to both camps that the issue was being studied, and neither camp had it completely correct.

Speaking of crazy people, the lady in the photo below sitting underneath the roof overhang of this lovely gaging shed is the "Chem Trail Lady." She believes that some airplanes spew (on purpose) extra-potent chemical trails that are NOT contrails. These are called "chem trails." These chem trails are the sole agent weakening pine trees and making them susceptible to pine beetles, which kill trees and create kindling for forest fires. And so, forest fires are caused by "chem trails." And all other factors are completely beside the point/not real causes. And FoCo has a higher concentration of chem trails because of DIA's heavy traffic volume. And anybody with a degree in forestry or an ounce of common sense is completely wrong to bring up any other explanation. Obviously. And she will interrupt his/her presentation to point this out. Because he/she is disseminating misinformation. The end.

When we all disagreed with her (and not rudely), she stomped off in a huff and refused to talk to any of us for the rest of the day. I was relieved, for once, to be getting the silent treatment. Maybe I should have warned her I'm always excited to hear a new conspiracy theory but not at all likely to give credence to such ideas before she opened her mouth. But really. How could I possibly have anticipated that theory?!